Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Let's Celebrate LIFE!

The dandelions are out, the trees are blooming, the birds have returned.  Life is all around us, winter has come and gone, but not without a few celebrations of it's own.


Pam-Pam and KK (Pamela and Makayla) turned 5 and 6, born just a year and a week apart.  They continue to be bright spots in my day.  I have the privilege of getting them ready for school each morning and walking them there.  We talk about all kinds of things, sing songs and play "I spy".  Pam declared that we are "just like a big family!" I couldn't agree more!


My beautiful roommate, Hillary, also celebrated a birthday.  We met years ago when she was new to the city and a leader in the college ministry at Willow Chicago that I was heading up.  A couple of years later she also became a roommate at the Roscoe house, and it was during some of those late night chats that we dreamt about living together again someday, and ways we could be a part of bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth.  I am truly blessed by her presence in the Community House, and love the many ways we get to do life together!



A couple months back, I found an incredible deal on flights to Portland advertised for only 3 dates - 2 being my parent's birthdays, March 3 and 7.  Little did I know that a month before I this trip  I would lose my dear Grandmommy, who's name I carry (Catherine) and who has always been my special grandparent.  What a gift from God to be able to be with family while I was still grieving the loss.
 

Our Sierra completed 17 years and is becoming more and more of a woman every day, doing the hard work of a balancing school with being a young mom.  We have great late night chats and enjoy watching Nevaeh, now 9 months, whenever she needs a break.  I love her like my own sister!



Our upstairs neighbor's best friend's son also had a birthday! Here we got to experience a REAL dance party, and how these kids learn some pretty interesting dance moves a little too early...


Johnathan turned 14 and I asked him what he learned as a 13 year old and what he wants to see his 14th year be like.  He said "being 13 I learned that running with the bad kids is not good, and that hopefully being 14 I can find some good friends who don't want to do bad stuff."  There were no friends there to celebrate with, only us two from downstairs and his siblings.  I cried myself to sleep that night.

Moments like those are hard, where you realize what our kids here are up against and what little you can do about it.  When there isn't money left for the baby's milk and the only money thats around comes from drug sales.  Where gun shots ring out and deals happen in front of the house.  Where we are woken up from screaming matches and watch abandoned buildings occupied by families with kids  burn as a result of domestic disputes.

But flowers still bloom, the bird sing and we celebrate that Love wins.

and then, God...

reminded us that He. Is. Here.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Thankful


Ever since I started working with and loving the wonderful communnity of 5Loaves at Willow Chicago, I have opted to stay in the city for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, making time for traditions with my homeless brothers and sisters. Many great memories were made in the Roscoe house these past four years withThanksgiving Dinners and Christmas Open-houses. Over and over, I have found that being a family and a support system is a much better way to approach homelessness, and to offer the kind of normal experiences that the rest of the world is doing on those days that they may be missing out otherwise. In doing so, we have not only created family for those without, but we have been over and above blessed.







(Here are a few that we grabbed for a picture this year!)











This year I felt conflicted with also feeling that being in the neighborhood would be an important activity for the day! Luckily, our 5Loaves family was able to participate in a free Thanksgiving meal that Tapas Valencia puts on every year, which was a great treat for everyone and left time for me to go back and be a part of things going on in the house. I was excited to have my cousin Erin with me for the second year, and we were lucky that her brother Jesse flew in from NYC to join us as well!


Jesse, Erin and I arrived back at the house to find the downstairs family Thanksgiving in full swing! Several car loads of cousins had arrived the night before, bringing back home some dear ones that we hadn't seen since the summer.


Several of the girls slept in our spare room the night before, and the kids all came up to do hand turkeys while they waited for the food. We truly felt like one big building family!


The days after things quieted down, giving us time for some of our favorite activities.
Life is full, and we are thankful to God for His many blessings!

and then, God...

Smiled :)



Impromptu babysitting for the ever growing and cutest
baby, Nevaeh!














Watching Elf and making snowflakes!
















Learning Dutch Blitz!















Learning about who our block was named after!



















Dinner potlucks and community time!

Thursday, September 29, 2011



The football field you see in this clip is the one that I see every morning when I come out of my house, and when I come home at night. The team that this young man was a part of was the team I see practicing every day. The halls of the school are the halls that my neighbors walk down each afternoon.

Why did this make me cry when I watched it, while for others its just another sad news story about the West Side? Because it is familiar. That school, that field, that neighborhood. It is not something on the news - it is something in my life.

I read a quote once that said something to the effect of this: "I ask God to break my heart daily, because if my heart is not broken, I cannot be moved to action." This embodies much of why I have chosen to do what I have done. How can we be moved to action if our hearts are not broken? And how can our hearts be broken if we run from brokenness becoming familiar?

On September 10, our 15 year old neighbor boy downstairs was jumped by 7 kids in the back alley while taking out the trash. He had to have stitches and root canals on two teeth that were knocked around. We sat together in our living room - my roommates, his mom, sister, and her new born baby girl. As his mom was venting and crying, he walked in - dazed, lips swollen from the stitches and the beating. All of the sudden, I felt a sense of the Holy. I felt that something was happening here - something rare and beautiful. Something where race and money and differences had been left at the door and where we were nothing but neighbors sitting together, leaning on each other in our confusion, struggling with the sadness and helplessness of the situation.

It also happened to be my 29th birthday.

A week later we threw a going away party for the boy, since his mother had decided that she had no choice but to send him to live with his uncle. (This was the 3rd time these same kids had jumped him, despite her talking to the cops and the teachers at Marshall High School about it) I fried 5 trays of chicken (after having dreams about it the night before - its no small task, being a vegetarian and all) while my roommate decorated the house and made a card with his little sisters. The 3 floors of neighbors gathered together to eat, laugh, and celebrate the love that existed within all of the sadness. At one point during the dinner, the mom turned to me and said "We have no family here-no family. But now we do. Now we have family here. Now we have family here."

So are we going to let brokenness be familiar? Because there is beauty there, too.

and then, god...

was present.




Sunday, September 11, 2011

Guns and Roses

3:30 am. Shouting. Shooting.

Repeat

Pink Tutu. New life. Celebration.

Repeat

Do we call the cops? Do we not?

Repeat

New faces, new names, new neighbors, new stories

Repeat

Intervene? Stand and watch? Say something? Say nothing?

Repeat

Babies staring, children welcoming, bored men staring, mothers cursing

Repeat

Hold your breath. Close your eyes. Say a prayer. Share a life.

Repeat

Cry a river! Shake a fist. Share a shoulder. Hold on to faith. Somehow.

Repeat

Ponder Justice. Give up power. Share some hope. Give a flower.

Repeat

Fight for Love.

Fight for Love.

Fight for Love.

Fight WITH Love.

And then God...

please?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A new kind of Normal


No, I did not drop off the face of the earth. I was not killed and no, I didn't abandon blogging for good.

Yes, I have returned. Yes, I have felt amazingly overwhelmed with this incredible experience and how to express it. Yes, I have felt the burden of the lives that I have come to love, how to tell their stories and share some of their experiences in a respectful yet honest way.


It has now been 6 weeks since me and my 3 roommates moved in to East Garfield Park. Six wonderful weeks, full of beautiful moments and beautiful challenges.


We have fallen head-over-heels in love with our building. There is a family of 4 kids with their mom and mom's boyfriend that live on the 3rd floor, we are on the second, and a family of 4 that live with their mom and mom's uncle on the bottom floor, in addition to countless cousins, friends and whoever else always in and out.



The first week was full of non-stop activity, with people in and out of the house constantly. Funny enough, both of the moms upstairs and downstairs had birthdays the same week. We made cookies as a surprise for Minisha (downstairs), and then the kids came over two days later and made cards and surprise cake for the other (Tina). It was midnight when they were finally done with the grand project, and right before bed I heard them upstairs yelling "surprise!" as their mom came back from the store. Eugene told my roommate the next day that they really enjoyed making the cards, and that their mom had cried at the little surprise.


Downstairs, Sierra is 9 months pregnant (due any day!!) and we have had so much fun getting ready for the baby with her, including helping with a baby shower and finding lots of cute little things to welcome Neveah into the world (Yes, she is 16, and loves telling people it is "heaven spelled backward"). With her mom having to work early every morning, we have also been helping take her two little sisters to school so that she can stay home and rest.




We are starting to have some fun traditions with the kids. Books before saying goodnight, sharing our happy and sad moments of the day, and healthy snacks whenever they want them.







We have been so grateful to partner with Love Without Agenda for food donations from several places around the city. It has created some fantastic opportunities for working together on solving food shortage problems on our block. Tina, the single mom upstairs, had experienced 3 deaths one week and was able to bring a box of food to the friend who had lost her boyfriend to a shooting. What a blessing!




Eugene and Jonathan from upstairs were super-troopers in helping getting all of the donations in! And, as you can see, are quite the little ladies men :) We love them like our own little brothers!






We are so blessed to have been so welcomed by the people in our building, and slowly, the people on the rest of the block. The block now has faces and names, and it is no longer about "that" neighborhood-or that everyone from the outside tells us it's "so dangerous there" or that they would "never go west of western". It is now only about it being OUR neighborhood, full of OUR people that we dearly love.


Of course, there have been challenges,but I have felt like God is truly turning these into good. The first day that the first of us 4 roommate moved in, our door was kicked in. Yasmin, the 15 year old that lives upstairs right away asked my roommate if we were still going to move in. Lauren told her that it takes more than than to scare us away! In that ONE experience, I feel like our trust level with the building grew. We weren't just some "white girls" that were going to run away scared when one bad thing happened.


The second break in was by some kids from another block, but involved some of the kids we had befriended from our block as well. Nothing but a wii was taken, and when our little friend was pulled aside to be asked about it, he looked terrified, like he was going to get yelled at or hit. Hillary and Lauren calmly told him that they weren't accusing him, but that they cared more about the truth than the wii and that they believed that he has a bright future and the ability to make good choices. Two huge tears welled up from his eyes and trickled down his checks. They hugged him as he cried and told him over and over how much he was loved. So powerful.


A few days later, a friend's car window was broken out - all for a basketball that some girls from the next block over wanted to play with. When we found it that night, we gathered around the car and held hands and said a prayer of love and blessing toward the girls that did it. We pulled in a little boy who had been accused of breaking a window out the week before from a car the next block over, as well as a young teen who had watched the girls break the window. I just felt God's presence as we prayed love over the whole situation. That night, gunshots rang out right in front of our building, and while no one was hurt, we were all reminded, again, that everyone has a choice - to choose good, or choose evil.


In Deuteronomy, God begs his people to "Choose Life-that you might live the life I have mapped out for you!". In John, Jesus continues this urging by promising to "Give Life, and Life to the full." I have felt this same urging as I see all that people are struggling with around me. Kids playing pretend jail and shooting (i suggested they play school instead), eight-year olds talking about getting drunk, fist fights breaking out during tag and on and on. I have had this overwhelming desire within myself to grab people and look them in the eye, and beg them: "Choose life! Choose Life, that you might live it abundantly."

and then, God...


taught me that the fullest life isn't about safety and prosperity, but that it is about choosing HIM.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Unpacking (boxes and stories) - by Hillary

SATURDAY, JULY 9, 2011

(by Hillary, from her blog "Beauty from Ashes" She is one of my amazing roommies!)

I can't stop smiling & laughing. (Good way to recover from the 10 mile run I did this morning as training for the Chicago Marathon w/ Team World Vision)
The boys upstairs are so lovable and want to be with us all the time. Today their mom Tina came down & chatted with us for a bit, that was so nice. I am really excited for the stories that are being shared as our lives are becoming intertwined, looking forward to our soul food party tomorrow night. This afternoon we let the boys play for a bit now that we knew Tina was comfortable with it. Then Gayle & I had to ask them to leave so we could unpack & organize. DeShaun went upstairs then down the backstairs & sat outside my window while I was unpacking. He kept saying 'I see you. Are you in there?'
Learning about boundaries, especially w/ DeShaun (the youngest boy who lives upstairs & is autistic) It will take time but Tina is so sweet & happy to share ideas with us. Thinking we will make a sign for the front & back doors, one side w/ a green circle & the other w/ a red circle. Go & stop.

We have a billy the bass fish that he LOVES! So every time he knocks on the door and comes in he goes straight for the fish to sing along to 'Dont worry, be happy' So precious!





I am really beginning to adore the three boys from upstairs- Johnathan, Eugene, & DeShaun. Eugene left this little message on the fridge the other day after helping me unpack our kitchen boxes.





Its amazing how much this feels like home already only after four days.
My sweet reading chair in the living room where I'll be spending time chatting, emailing, reading, & praying.




Hannah moves in tomorrow & Lauren gets back from a work trip- then we will all four officially be here to begin the journey.
Soul Food dinner Sunday night in the backyard to celebrate.

Thanks for reading whats on my mind. Come visit.
Peace be with you

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The apple never falls too far from the tree :)

Couple live their faith by building community in Southeast Portland's Lents neighborhood

Published: Thursday, July 07, 2011, 5:00 PM Updated: Thursday, July 07, 2011, 5:03 PM
brock dittus.JPG

Members of Springwater, a small home-based church in Southeast Portland, host regular free events open to everyone in their Lents neighborhood as a way to build community and spread God's love. At a recent bike repair program, Brock Dittus fixed a bike for 9-year-old Chloe Morton and her sister, Taylor.


Many Oregonians talk about wanting to live a certain way, about buying local, driving less and leaving the world a better place than they found it.

More of us could stand to put our principles into practice the way Rusty and Mary Lou Bonham are.

A decade ago, they lived on the prairie. Rusty Bonham, lanky with the patient voice and bookish look of a college professor, ministered at a large Mennonite church in Newton, Kan. Though they helped people and watched families grow up and out, both felt a certain emptiness.

"So much of my experience in church is a lot of conversations," said Mary Lou Bonham, a family therapist who grew up in Paraguay, where her parents ran a home for the treatment of people with leprosy. "At this stage of life, it felt like I needed to be living my convictions rather than talking about them."

When their youngest of three children left home, they decided to try something different. They signed up for a Mennonite Voluntary Service Adventure, a Peace Corps-like program. After that, they looked for another opportunity to help. They had this crazy dream, after living on nine acres in a place where you can see a thunderstorm coming from 20 miles away, of moving into a city and establishing a different kind of church.

"We wanted to work on urban poverty, but our approach was sort of naive," Rusty Bonham said. "It was, 'Let's go where the police are afraid to go.'"

He laughs now about how melodramatic that sounds. But there aren't many spots like that in Portland. There are, however, places that don't get the care and attention they need.

They needed other believers. They put out feelers on several Mennonite and home church websites and hosted waffle parties for people interested in hearing more. The pitch: Come start a church with us. We'll buy a bunch of houses, move in and see if we can make a difference. They asked potential members for a 10-year commitment, and to pledge to live simply and perform a certain amount of volunteer work.

After looking at Census figures, crime statistics and school data, they decided on Southeast Portland's Lents neighborhood near Kelly Elementary School.

adele dittus.JPG
Adele Dittus and a few others from the primarily Mennonite community helped plant shrubs and native plants along the Springwater Corridor Trail this spring.


Members of the fledgling congregation, called Springwater because of its location near the Springwater Trail, bought three houses and rented another within an easy walk of each other. About 20 people moved in during summer and fall 2008.

Their first night, Mary Lou left the keys in her car. Someone stole it. Such began a hard first year. Some people weren't prepared for intimacy required to live this way, for the intensity and frequency of their spiritual debates or simply having others within the church -- virtual strangers in the beginning -- hold them accountable for not biking often enough or not buying local.

"Part of living in a community is learning to deal with people you don't necessarily agree with all the time," said Alison Hilkiah, who along with her husband was the first Springwater community member to move in. "Some of our monthly meetings were really tense. We had differences of opinion on everything. We didn't know each other well. We had all taken this big leap together without really knowing in a lot of cases what living communally actually means."

"Living in a community brings out the worst in a person. That's why we prefer it," Bonham said. "Our issues bubble to the surface, and that is where they can be dealt with."

The challenges were internal, not external. Neighbors welcomed them, even if some felt a shade skeptical.

"My husband and I are not religious people, so at first when someone over there told us who they were and what they were doing, we were like, 'That is bizarre. Are they a cult?' said Dana LaBoy-Gardner. "We were concerned they'd try to push their religion on us. But that has never happened. And after we got to know them, we realized they're just really good people who want to be good neighbors. They're the best neighbors anyone could ask for."

In their first three years, Springwater has hosted potlucks, bike repair workshops, block parties, gardening classes and "wacky water day" at a neighborhood park.

"They rented out the Mount Scott Community Center pool so we could all go swimming," LaBoy-Gardner said. "They went door to door and offered to build sand boxes for anyone with children in the house. They're always looking for some way to help make things a little bit nicer."

Springwater members gather in one home every Sunday for a potluck and worship. The crowd runs younger, under 40, and the dress tends toward blue jeans and baseball caps. A few people play guitars as children toddle underfoot and bang on tambourines. Most worshipers don't need the red plastic binders that serve as hymnals. As day turns to night, the adults take communion, talk about what it means to be a Christian and tell each other about any "God sightings." It's a lovely, quiet service that feels as close to a big family supper as traditional church service.

"For all the time and money we put into community development, it's basically how to be friendly," said Brandon Rhodes, a 27-year-old Springwater member working toward his doctorate in ministry at George Fox University. "It's a slow, steady process that means being in a place for a long time and being willing to get as much out of a place as you put in."

Because they're in this for the long haul, it's early to judge success. Neighbors say they've noticed a drop in obvious drug users roaming their streets but aren't sure how much credit to give Springwater.

"They're making a positive difference, for sure," said Mic Marusek, who lives nearby. "For example: I wouldn't know nearly as many people in the neighborhood as I do now that they're here. That's the kind of thing that can sound small but can make a big impact in how you feel about where you live."

Rusty Bonham would like the congregation to become more intergenerational. Though there are two babies and several small children, he and Mary Lou are, in their mid-50s, the oldest. Springwater is holding steady at about 15 members, though Sunday dinners can attract another dozen.

"My dream come true would be that we'd need to divide into cells because we don't all fit in one living room," Bonham said.

But numbers aren't how you gauge success for something like this. When he talks Springwater, Bonham quotes an Amish saying: "A guy gets asked, 'Are you right with Jesus?' His answer: 'Ask my neighbor. He'll tell you whether or not I'm right with Jesus.'"

"Success would be we become more loving people," Bonham said. "It's about changing ourselves as much as anything else."

Earlier this summer, Springwater hosted a free bike repair outside Kelly school. A photographer showed up and asked whether everyone there was from the church.

At first, Bonham said, "Yes." Then he looked around. He saw Springwater members fixing bikes alongside Kelly teachers and neighbors who'd volunteered tools or expertise. He saw parents who had never attended a potluck or a Sunday service but had taken care of a Springwater member's dog or helped in one of their gardens.

"It was a big moment for me, one of those, 'Something is happening here,' moments," Bonham said. "Everybody wasn't part of the church, but we were all part of the same community."

-- Anna Griffin