In this long and painful journey, they were instructed to watch the cloud above the arc by day, and the fire by night. When the cloud moved, they moved. When it stayed, they stayed. Waiting, watching, trusting.
I always hope, in this story, that it got easier for them. You know, like after awhile it was second nature to trust God fully and rely on his timing. However, when I look at my own journey in following God, I can't say that each new wilderness has gotten easier, or that I really understand fully what trusting in God truly means.
God has been using a particular situation in my life to teach me new levels of trust. As you know from stories in this blog, God has been very intentional about giving me a heart for Chicago, and in particular, for East Garfield Park. I have walked forward in faith and can see God working in me and through me as I continue to commit here. The practical next step was finding a home to buy, and after much searching and praying and all kinds of obstacles, we found a place that seemed like it was the right step. When we walked in, this is the first thing I saw:
We had just been through looking at house after house where we were going to have to ask people, who had been renting for years, to leave. I was losing sleep over from the conflict it created in my spirit. When we walked into this vacant building, and saw this, I sensed God was moving. The fire was moving, and I was committed to following, in all of the unpredictability, in all of my human doubt.
These past 3 months of working with trying to get this house has been one of the most intense experiences of my life. There were a couple of times lately where I stepped back and asked God if I had been too eager? Had I mis-read his leading? I won't bore you with every detail, but over and over there seemed to be things that were happening that needed a miracle to get through. Every time, when I was on the brink of doubt, a piece of the puzzle would get solved. We would take a step forward. The cloud would move.
We are on the last leg, the last week or two of closing. The numbers from the lender came back low, so my project manager and I are working to make something happen with them. I've committed every cent from every savings account. The seller's lawyer threatened to pull out if we weren't closed by the 31st but so far she has stayed in the game. The title has been cleared from demolition court. The bank has approved the short-sale and allowed 2 extensions. The architect is waiting. The contractor is waiting. And we are waiting, watching the cloud.
I will ask you to pray with me for faith and trust as I wait on God. For blessings on this house and whoever will own it and bless this neighborhood with their presence. For the things God wants to accomplish here. For the Prince of Peace to reign. For my wonderful roommates Hillary, Josh and Brian and I, as we make plans for the future, even in the unknown. Chicago just witnessed their 500th homicide in 2012. The man was only 40, and had grown up on my old block here in EGP. We long to continue to make this our home, to live alongside these neighbors as they become our friends and family, and to see Christ's love spread like wildfire. I long to have a house where "Hesed" can be experienced - lovingkindness and tender mercy. I imagine families and foster kids and open houses and block parties, joy and love and sharing. I imagine the kingdom, on earth as it is in heaven.
and then, God...
waited.
